I Don’t Feel Angry Anymore

“I’m proud now that I’ve dealt with my residential school and how I feel about white people in general. Because I grew up hating white people. Because of how it was. I had sugar shakers broken on my head.

I tell ya, have you ever seen that movie called Billy Jack and these white guys are pouring flour over an Indian boy’s head, and it triggered that so bad, I was right back with the Brothers…the sugar was just pouring down.

When they say they take something out of you, that’s how I feel, they took something out of me. And that was trust. And it’s really hard for me to trust. I think I’ve grown up to a point where I don’t feel angry anymore.

Maybe it’s because of my grandchildren. Whenever I’m hurting, like when my wife took off, I used to have them over all the time. They’d come and hug me, I’d tell ‘em I love ‘em and I’d just hold ‘em, and it makes you feel better. Because you know that they’re there, it makes you stronger as a person. I call them my medicine ay.”

Hesquiaht Elder, Patrick Charleson Jr

Photography: Donovan Williams, Jacine Charleson, Kevin Charleson, Patrick Charleson IV, Rakaylyn Charleson

We Were Gone

“The best thing for our kids here is going home to their parents, going home every night to their parents.

We never had that. Ten months of the year we were gone. So we…I didn’t know [how to be a parent]. It took me long time to learn how to be a father.”

Hesquiaht Elder, Patrick Charleson Jr

Photography: Donovan Williams, Jacine Charleson, Kevin Charleson, Patrick Charleson IV, Rakaylyn Charleson

Respecting Our Culture

“I used to dance when I was young, we were always taught to respect our culture. By respecting our culture, we had to learn how to dance, and speak our language.

After I got out of res [residential school], it was drilled into our heads we couldn’t and we shouldn’t – our grandparents are heathens.

One of the pride and joys of Hesquiaht is the Sparrow Dance, we had some of the best sparrow dancers. I want to see my Grandson here, do that dance. But our tribe is so…always feuding. Certain groups saying we’re doing this wrong, because they think they’re right, stuff like that.

When it comes to actually doing it, as long as they’re learning. That’s what my Great-Grandfather said, he said, as long as they are doing it ay, they are not losing it.”

Hesquiaht Elder, Patrick Charelson Jr

Photography: Donovan Williams, Jacine Charleson, Kevin Charleson, Patrick Charleson IV, Rakaylyn Charleson

Use Your Voice

“Don’t be like me. When I was in school that’s how we talked – with our eyebrows. And we talked with our head. You know why, because we were not allowed to talk.

That’s why I say to you guys all the time learn how to use your voice. Be proud of it, don’t be ashamed of it. When someone asks you a question, don’t just nod your head.  Talk with your voice ok. Don’t be shy.

Be proud of who you are. From here…from your heart.”

Hesquiaht Elder, Patrick Charleson Jr

Photography: Donovan Williams, Jacine Charleson, Kevin Charleson, Patrick Charleson IV, Rakaylyn Charleson

700 Million Dollars

“All our Hesquiaht territory was not even logged. But I guess it started changing when I was seventeen. The logging company that was here moved in, and they started logging.

And the sad part about it is that Hesquiaht never got a thing out of it. I think they said there was over 700 million dollars worth of logs that came out of this area.

And you think we ever got anything out of it? I mean there were jobs, people were working up there, I was working up there. Bad for the environment but it was a job for me, you know. But that’s the sad part about it, maybe we wouldn’t be in the situation we are in now, if we had got a little bit of the profit, shared, you know.” 

Hesquiaht Elder, Patrick Charleson Jr

Photography: Donovan Williams, Jacine Charleson, Kevin Charleson, Patrick Charleson IV, Rakaylyn Charleson

The Wrong Day

“After a real big rainstorm, the whole mountain that was logged slipped down to the river and it damned itself up. It was about 150 foot high. When it broke, it took everything out, including our water line. We had to get water from the lake.

The government told us our slide happened on the wrong day. Because they were helping other people [on that day]. We got Channel Eight to come in, to show the slide and everything, and showed on TV how we had to boil water and stuff.

Not even a day after that, there were two navy boats out here that had fresh water for us. So the power of TV!”

Hesquiaht Elder, Patrick Charleson Jr

Photography: Donovan Williams, Jacine Charleson, Kevin Charleson, Patrick Charleson IV, Rakaylyn Charleson

Tradition to Welfare

“I bought that boat for my kids, for you guys. Someday you might be fishermen or fisherwomen. That’s why I bought it – so we can keep it in the family – a tradition. We are a fishing family.

But don’t put your hopes on it too high, because fishing is a dying industry.

The fish have been decreasing all the time I have been here.  It was a good living too. It was fun. The other day we were talking about how we used to live off the benefits of fishing. We’d have money in the bank, now I’m waiting in line for welfare – it’s hard to accept.”

Hesquiaht Elder, Patrick Charleson Jr.

Photography: Donovan Williams, Jacine Charleson, Kevin Charleson, Patrick Charleson IV, Rakaylyn Charleson

tell your story…

super idea from one of my favourite thinkers, speakers, breathers, and believers…karen armstrong.

karen is all about the globe’s religions holding hands,

so,

apt for the current project on science and spirit.

the movement she started with TED, called charter for compassion are looking for a world of stories (you, me, todos) on moments of compassion that changed our lives.

“there isn’t anyone you couldn’t learn to love once you’ve heard their story”.

image leads to the link…go tell amigos : )

“don’t listen to the world bank” …bunker roy

this is a story in the ‘altogether different’ category

empowering beyond belief

ooo yeah!! click it click it click it!!

(19:08 mins)

the hesquiaht kids…why? what for?

what can result from taking a photograph and/or telling a story?

-the reach of people who want to dominate others (either overtly or subtly) might be extended,

-attention can be called to these jerk dominators,

-or something altogether different may result.

 

to me, this project is in the altogether different category.

 

think about pushing a rock up a hill. yes there will be a little momentum

(working against the negative/ hostility against domination).

think about leaving that cumbersome stone where it is and wheeling down the hill with a huge grin on your face

(working with the positive/ empowerment of dominated people and cultures).

 

this project is all about empowering the hesquiaht children and community. we are wheeling down the hill.

 

how?

 

1) young people (and all people) knowing they are the beez kneez

on christmas night, we put on a slide show for the hesquiaht community. the images were stunning. really, truly beautiful.

the months of hard work the hesquiaht kids and kevin put into photography showed on this last night. these children (and kevin) had something to be proud of; their talents, their abilities, their eyes, their intelligence…all were on show on this night.

the community thought these kids and kevin were incredible for what they did. and they are.

we all need to know we are incredible.

we should all have opportunities to show we are incredible.

2)  who tells the first nations story?

what i have learnt here in this community about first nations people is very different from the impressions i have received from other sources.

everybody should have a chance to tell their own story.

overwhelmingly, the children, and the elders believe nobody is interested in their viewpoint. and this is just not the case.

when the community learnt that over a thousand people came to view the images taken by their children, they felt supported and honored.

this project encourages the children and the community to believe that others are curious about their experiences, their thoughts, and the way the hesquiaht see themselves, their history, and their future.

3) the bonus of keeping fresh eyes

during the community slideshow there were gasps, laughs, oohs, and a lot of quiet, as the people watched this vision of their territory, this place that they see ‘everyday’.

many people came up to the photographers afterwards and commented how uplifting it had been to see their territory through the eyes of another.

photography, is a prime tool for keeping fresh eyes.

equipping the children (and this summer the women) with a tool to encourage their community to appreciate anew, and feel pride, for the land they see everyday, is priceless.

4) trust

overwhelmingly people told me it was hard to talk to a white person when we met.

wounds are fresh.

all of the elders i spoke to had been stolen from their families as children and put into residential schools where they were surrounded by sexual, physical, and mental abuse. as one elder explained, ‘when they say they take something out of you that’s how i feel, they took something out of me. and that was trust.’

i hope for the hesquiaht, having carly (my friend and these children’s school teacher) and i in the community can be a positive experience of non-first nations people.

experiencing non-first nations people visiting (either online or in person) to see and listen to their stories and photos, rather than tell them their stories is also invaluable.

heman, rakaylyn, donovan, jacine, kevin, carly, you are shiny important people.

folks who came to visit this blog to encourage and understand another person, you are shiny important people.

: )

all photos except the first, (which i took of miss seibel their teacher), are taken by the community